The sun beckons ...

The view of Pudong from the Shanghai Bund

Ooooooo, it's so close now we can almost taste it. Two days and the sun will be ours, all ours, mwah ha ha ha (evil laugh).

We've endured our final overnight hard sleeper train in China and are now in Shanghai, freezing our butts off and looking forward to getting back to Oz. We've been getting out and about a bit, but even I have to admit that our hearts aren't in it at the moment.

Travelling through China is a constant attack on the senses and Shanghai is no exception. It's a massive bustling city, full of shops and pushy salespeople, and an intriguing mix of old and new. Unfortunately, the famous Shanghai Bund is clouded in a thick mist and under constant attack by an icy winter wind. No strolls along the waterfront for us - just many hours relaxing in comfy cafes and trying to remember what it feels like to sit in the sun with a cold beer.

Location of the first Communist congress

A chinese shakedown (from Ping'an to Fenghuang by bus)

Four days ago, we suffered a little brain blip. At the time, we didn’t realise it was a brain blip. In fact, we thought it was a cracking idea – ditch the train and get a feel for rural China by taking the slower bus route north to Fenghuang.

Now, sitting in front of an open fire in our guesthouse, we know it was a brain blip … or a Chinese shakedown. Here’s how it went.

Take two stupid Aussies. Dump them in a rural bus station with no timetable and no map. Point them in the direction of a bus, any bus, and tell them it will take them where they want to go … even if it doesn’t. They can’t understand anyway because they haven’t bothered to learn the local language or have stopped trying because whenever they do they get laughed at.

Sit them up the front near the door, where there is plenty of room for their giant packs. Wait until they are comfortable then surround them with more bags, boxes, buckets of petrol, sacks of chickens and ducks, and a bunch of local villagers who’ll hock and spit for hours. Drive only on dirt roads – the bumpiest ones you can find - and drive fast. Overtake only around blind corners and overtake fast, particularly when driving over high mountain passes. Add 20 cases of beer, enough dust to make their eyes water, some chain smokers, and squeeze some children onto their seats. Make sure they’re sitting near someone with chronic travel sickness who will puke their guts up for the entire journey. Never stop for a toilet break. Almost drive them off a cliff. And don’t forget to try to run over some cyclists.

Repeat every five hours until they reach wherever the hell they are trying to go or get back on a train.

If they survive, reward them with a cosy guesthouse on the Tuo River, where they’ll meet some nice people who will be so impressed that they have travelled for five weeks in China without speaking Mandarin that they’ll treat them to some tasty Chinese takeaway, potent rice wine and a warm fire.

After finding ourselves stranded in Sanjiang on the first night, we stumbled across Chengyang, one of many beautiful wooden Dong villages in the area. This bridge was built by the Dong villlagers in 1912.

Finally we reach Fenghuang. This riverside town is under constant siege by Chinese tourists but its wooden houses and cobbled streets still have an irresistable charm.

More photos of Chengyang and Fenghuang

Dragon's Backbone Rice Terraces

Dragon's backbone rice terraces

Ping'an is a small Zhuang village nestled on the main ridge of the Dragon's backbone rice terraces. If you can make it up the steps to the village, it's the perfect spot to chill out for a couple of nights. And I mean chill out. It's flipping freezing here at night and if it wasn't for the scenery, we'd be seriously questioning our decision to postpone Vietnam in favour of another couple of weeks in China.

A woman from the next village

The village and the rice terraces have been home to various minority cultures for hundreds of years. This woman makes the two hour trek from a nearby village to Ping'an everyday to sell her homemade goods to tourists, and for a couple of yuan she'll take off her hair.

Emma holding the woman's first ponytail

The women from this particular minority culture get their first haircuts at the age of 10, their second at the age of 18 and then every 10 years or so after that. They keep all their hair tightly wrapped on their head so that it looks suspiciously like a hat! Slightly odd but fascinating all the same.

More photos from the dragon's backbone rice terraces

Biking along the Yulong River, Yangshou

The Yulong River

Back on the bikes again. This time though, we busted out an extra £5 for a couple of mountain bikes with brakes and tyre tread. Relative luxury compared to the old rust buckets we rented in Dali. And a lucky thing too.

Apparently, for Carl and I, biking along the Yulong River just outside of Yangshou in the Guangxi province is not as simple as it sounds. We got lost trying to shake off a local self-appointed guide and ended up having to manouver the bikes through thorny bushes, head high crops and muddy fields, over wet concrete, and around chickens.

You'll hear no complaint from us though. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping and the Chinese tour groups were bouncing up and down on the Li River, completely unaware of the beautiful scenery that's hidden among the karst peaks.

Em showing off her cycling prowess

More Yangshou photos

Rules for travelling safely (and how to break them)

1. If your mode of transport looks unsafe it probably is. If a bicycle cost less than £1 a day to rent, it's probably a piece of junk. Pack a spare tyre and pump, some food and water, and a good map just in case.

Carl riding with a flat tyre, no food or water and a map that makes no sense

2. Never break the law. If a sign says that tourists are forbidden to ride in local boats, don't make a deal with a little old lady that involves a ride in said boat at a fraction of normal ferry prices.

Our highly unseaworthy vessel on Erhai Hu (which means ear-shaped lake)

3. Always read and understand the terms and conditions of any agreement. Don't just nod, pretend you understand Chinese and hope that it all works out for the best. If you have a bird phobia, at least make sure that the agreement does not involve you spending two long hours in a rusty old boat surrounded by birds ... because that just be plain stupid now, wouldn't?

Carl the birdman and his feathered friends (clearly he's not the one with the bird phobia)

Our captain collects his catch

More photos from our bird fishing adventure on Erhai Hu

Farewell Mama Naxi

Mama Naxi is a crazy Naxi woman who runs the busiest hostel in Lijiang - it's also the cheapest! She's one of the funniest characters we've met in China. She fusses endlessly over her guests, force-feeds you banana and Naxi bread and talks about herself in the third person.

The Naxi is a minority group that's lived in the Yunnan region for more than 1000 years. Although it's never been a truly matriachial society, the woman have always ruled the roost. And they still do today. If you ever find yourself in Lijiang - and you should get there because it's gorgeous - give mama a call and you won't be disappointed.

Next stop: a little further south to Dali, where banana pancakes and 'happy' pizza abound.

Dali dealings

Dali dealers or innocent local village women?

Don’t be fooled. They look like nice law abiding ladies sitting there knitting away, but there’s a sinister side to these grannies. Hashish, anyone?