Frankie goes to Hollywood

Our guide Frankie is on a bender. We left him at a bar in Puerto Ayora at one o'clock this morning and when he met us at the dock at 7am, cloaked in dark glasses and exposed chest hair, he clearly hadn't slept. His tour to the Charles Darwin Research Station, home of the most famous Galapagos giant turtle Lonesome George, was his most inspired yet - "These are very interesting facts," he told us pointing to the information boards, "read them". Then he toddled off for another breakfast beer, leaving us to read about the conservation efforts that have protected the Galapagos animals for years.

The Charles Darwin Research Station is very impressive. Thousands of tiny tortoises have been repatriated to their home islands from the station' s baby tortoise house, and at least one subspecies of iguana and tortoise has been brought back from the brink of extinction thanks to its successful protection and breeding programme. Despite their best attempts, however, the future looks bleak for Lonesome George.

Lonesome George's butt

George is the only surviving member of the Isla Pinta subspecies. Attempts to find a mate for George have so far failed. He takes no interest in the two females tortoises who share his enclosure, and who can blame him. He's more than 80 years old and they're only distant relations, not his own species. Perhaps he doesn't realise that his species depends on it, or perhaps he doesn't care. He's not alone.

Frankie doesn't care, at least not today. He went in search of ceviche as soon as he could get away. He emerged again at 2pm for our visit to El Chato Tortoise Reserve. This time, however, he brought his "wife" and palmed us off to one of the workers before settling in for afternoon beers. The reserve itself is pretty self explanatory. It's a chance to see a giant tortoise in the wild. The biggest one there weighs about 200 kilograms and could be found happily chomping away on guava and passionfruit.

A big bugger